Groundbreaking initiatives I've undertaken to leave my mark on the household.

I've been involved in numerous cutting-edge breakthroughs since my arrival, but these are the ones that I'm most proud of. Many of them are open-source (meaning I do them openly, often with an audience), so if you see something that piques your interest, feel free to observe and contribute your own baby wisdom.

  • Operation Bottle Flip

    Pioneering research into the aerodynamics and optimal trajectory of milk bottle flipping.

    View milk stains

  • Rattle Analytics

    Cutting-edge study on the correlation between rattle shaking intensity and parental attention acquisition.

    See noise levels

  • Project Lullaby

    Ongoing experiment to determine the most effective cry frequency for immediate parental response.

    Listen to greatest hits

  • DiaperOS

    The operating system that powers my strategic diaper-filling operations.

    View change log

  • Tummy Time Fitness

    A rigorous training program designed to achieve peak head-lifting performance.

    See progress pics